Life is Almost Wonderful (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

I've been messing around in the garden searching for a hole in the ground

Want to get somehow to Australia, a way can be found

I'm excited, I'm delighted, I want to get away

I've heard if I dig dig long enough, I'll sail away

Kangaroos! Men and shoes shining in the dark and seas full of sharks!

I've been getting bored in the office, bored in the office every day

Things don't work out the way I planned, I wanted more

I've been getting bored in the office, bored in the office every day

Things aren't working out the way I planned, I wanted more

Blond girls! Fat girls! Girls with long legs, girls wearing hats, purple hats!

I've been going to the zoo on Sundays watching the animals chase and run (x2)

I like baboons, I like monkeys, I like the parrots best of all

They repeat what I say, repeat what I say

Cheeky boy! Happy boy! Cheeky girl! It's a parrots world

?? Amazonian! Parrots with blue purple yellow green brown rainbows round their eyes

Ah ah ah

Rainbows round their eyes

And they don't tell lies, no they don't tell lies

Parrots only repeat what you say, they never make up anything themselves, therefore if you said everything to them honestly, they'd repeat back honestly, that's the way of the world

If I say to them: "You're fine! You're wonderful! You're marvelous!", they'll say... nothing at all. Only repeat what I say

Pass me the Memories (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

Pass me the memories, I'll have another one (x2)

Show me the photographs with ?? smiling (x2)

Show me the photographs

Show me the photographs with ?? smiling , s how me the photographs (x2)

Pass me the pictures, I want to hear the laughter (x2)

Captured on celuloid

Pass me the pictures, I want to hear the laughter (x2)

Captured on celuloid

Pass me the pictures, I want to hear the laughter c aptured on celuloid (x2)

Pass me the memories, I want to see another one

Pass me the memories, I want to have another one, I want to see another one

Pass me the memories, I want to have another one

Old King Cole (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

Old King Cole was a merry old soul, was a merry old soul was he, he called for his pipe, he called for his cheese, he called for his fiddlers three, and all that and all that stuff we used to learn when we were at school, I did not know very much, in fact I did not learn a lot but anyway a little thing I did learn was one thing, how to kiss the girls, I loved kissing the girls, one or two or three, even four at the time, sometime behind the bushes, sometimes up in trees, I used to pretend I was a monkey, jumping up and down, jumping up and down, it was wonderful to do the things I did, I like being a boy ??, it's a bit strange but I have to behave myself you know, I can't do what I like when I'm working in the office, it's funny but I like to do things, I like to squirt Mr. Mountain with all this ink and make him stink, make him think, make him think that he's stupid in this job, in this job as a bank clerk, it's something I never wanted in the first place cause I wanted to be a movie star, I wanted to be in films

I don't like it, I don't like it, I don't like it what we do (x4)

I could have been something, I could have been anybody, if I had fought and put my mind to it, if I had passed all these series of examinations, I could have reason, I could have gone to London in a big train, gone in the smoke and make myself into a big star, I could have whirled around in circles, I could have whirled around circles all around those people who became rock'n'roll heroes and those people who became big film stars, they were nothing new, they all started like I did in a little house with nowhere to go but anyway, that's the way it seems and that's the way my dreams have gone

Martha & Arthur (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

This is the story of Martha and Arthur who lived in the North of England in the grey empty fifties when nothing much happened anywhere

Little Martha , little Artur lived in a dull dark house, a parrot for company and their mother too

Their father was dead, he died in the World War II

They were happy, they were sad, they were happy, sometimes mad

When Bill Haley he came on their scene

He started rock'n'roll, Martha became a queen

Down the Trocadero, every Saturday night, Martha and Arthur dancing away

To the big beat, the roaring sound

Oh, the spirit of rock'n'roll lifted them off that ground, up they went

Up to Heaven, up to Heaven, flying high just like angels

They scattered their love everywhere

They got children now, they're lucky, they're lucky

Little Martha , little Artur, grooving down the bar, over sixty

Feet twinkling, bringing up the dust

Get some rock'n'roll in your life, rock'n'roll is must

You got to do it

Rock'n'roll in your life, it's must

Jump and shout and dance

Come on raise that dust

Looking From My Window (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

Looking from my window late at night, there's burning, there's burning

Look at the sky, look at the light, it's burning, it's burning

All the trees across the field, they're burning, are burning

All the bushes silhouetted there are burning, are burning

I can hear the bombs, I can hear the crunch, I can hear the children scream, I can hear the scrunch

Looking from my window late at night, there's burning, there's burning

I can see that big bright light, it's burning, it's burning

Look at the shed out in the garden, it's burning, it's burning

Look at my mother, look at my father, they're burning, they're burning

I can hear the bombs, I can hear the crunch, I can hear the noise, little girls and boys

Looking from my window, it's late at night, they're burning, they're burning

All across the world, I can see the lights , it's burning, it's burning

I see the planes, I hear the noise, burning, they're burning

Llife is changing, life is wrong, it's turning, it's turning

I can hear the bombs, I can hear the screams

Whispers in the Night (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

I hear the whispers in the night (x2)

You're maybe still thinking of me

Whispers in the night, I hear the whispers in the night

And you're still thinking of me

Oh running, running from the past, a relationship that could never last

Are you running, running from the past, our relationship that could never last

Are you whispering in the night? (x2)

A soulful song of a deep regret

Are you whispering in the night? (x2)

With a soulful song of a deep regret

Persuing some dream, some fancy complicated scheme

Persuing some dream, fancy complicated scheme

Are you whispering in the night? (x2)

Your eyes they're burning in the dark

Are you whispering in the night? (x2)

Oh those eyes, beautiful eyes, burning with pain in the dark

?? when they turn half the moon

And the darkness flows the land

Perhaps we'll understand (x2)

I Want to Sit with the Girls (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

I don't like boys school

Spotty boys are very cruel

They twist my arms and try to break my legs , almost everyday

I don't like boys school

They take me for a fool

Make faces behind my back and put silly notes on my trousers and like kick me and...

Chorus: I want to sit with the girls (x2)

I don't like boys school

I don't like the cruelty

The way they kill animals

Constantly squash flies

Boys have got no mercy

I don't like boys school

They take me for a fool

Laugh at me and my mother as well

My sister Martha

Chorus (x2)

Oceans of Love (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

Oceans and oceans and oceans of love (x2)

Fishes flying high and low

Underground with shiny teeth

Men in polished shoes walk by

Some of them say "Hello, goodbye"

Oceans and oceans and oceans of love (x4)

In the garden round and round

Leaping up and leaping down

Watching the policeman come up to the path

See him whisper, see him laugh

Turn to you in the kitchen and say

"What you gonna have to eat today?"

Oceans and oceans and oceans of love (x4)

Somebody's calling on the telephone

Picking out your pocket, you're not alone

They want to talk to you about things you do

They're interested , i t's the truth

What sort of clothes do you wear on a summer when the sun comes down?

What do you wear? Is it brown or green? Do you like a tie?

That's part of the scene. Do you want a vest with patches on?

Blue jeans, now they're real fun

Looking cool and casual

In the Hare and Hounds on a Thursday afternoon

Oceans and oceans and oceans of love (x8)

A ?? terrier running by

Yapping (x6)

Little dog, ??

We're going to trap him in a box

Send him away by British Rail

To the Shetland Islands

Somewhere where he can't offend my sensitive type

Where he can't bend, where he can't break my house slippers when I'm , w hen I'm trying to relax

Oceans and oceans and oceans of love (x6)

Searching for a Friend (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

I just might be in some far away ??

I'm sitting in a corner reminicing about some movie stars

Eyes full of glitter but an embittered lost kind of face

Believing in very little, not believing in the human race

You just might find me on some cross-country train

Peeping over the newspaper, eyes full full of pain

Starting a conversation that doesn't seem to have an end

Just talking about anything, anything at all, searching for a friend

Starting a conversation that doesn't seem to have an end

A conversation that doesn't seem to have an end

You just might find me at your bus stop one day

Making comments about a time-table and a road to Mandalay

Talking all fancy, bamboozling you with my mind

But trying to be heartfelt and sincere when I don't feel kind

I don't feel kind

It's my mind

Strange Pictures (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

In this garden, spiky flowers, fat birds with those orange beaks

I'm wandering round in this long grass, I haven't had a shave in many weeks

Al the neighboors, they keep pointing, saying stupid things to me

Like: "Is there something wrong with you, Arthur?"

I don't know, I must have a disease

I feel dizzy when I get out of bed

Strange pictures appear in my head

Very dizzy when I get out of bed

Strange pictures in my head

Now you know that my mother left us a nd left us all lost and alone

The sound of sirens up in the sky, I could hear those aeroplanes as they drowned

Oh this is a world of sadness, something's wrong that I don't know

Oh this is a world, a world of sadness, I gotta run, I gotta go

So if you help me, if you want to, bring around a sandwich or two

I'll eat it with you at the kitchen table and I'll tell you my story

Be your Sugar Daddy (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

I'll be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my cat (x2)

It's got a little pinky nose, wears a sweet yellow bow

I'll be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my cat

Be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my clothes (x2)

Some of them are very old, got buttons missing too

I'll be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my clothes

I'll be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my cat

Be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my cat

It's got a little pinky nose, wears a sweet yellow bow

I'll be you sugar daddy if you let me keep my cat

How it Burns (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

First wife left him, he's not worried at all

He's going out on the town tonight

Gonna have himself a ball, himself a ball, himself a ball, himself a ball

He's out on the dance floor, dancing with some old maid

She may be over fifty but she still makes the grade, makes the grade, makes the grade, makes the grade

Chorus: Funny how life is, how it turns, how your heart catches fire, oh how it burns , how it burns , how it burns , how it burns

They're planning a house somewhere on the edge of town

Living-room a creamy pink and the furniture brown, furniture brown, furniture brown, the furniture brown

He sings a little love song in the bathroom when he shaves

He feels so happy, so snappy, he's going to the teenage way, teenage way, teenage way, the teenage way

Chorus

Eisenhower/Churchill Blues (the) (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

Ah it's written in the wind, it's written in the stars

One day soon, we'll all gonna fly to Mars

Take a rocket ship, boogie high into the clouds, into the clouds

I've lost that Eisenhower/Churchill grey feeling, I want to shout it out loud, I'm feeling good

Now in the future everybody will learn to jump and jive

They'll fell good like they got a ticklish feeling deep inside

No more doom or gloom, no more church and no more school, no more school

I don't mind if I'm just a ill-educated ruffian fool, just a fool

Now I may be blessed and I may be cursed

What I might tell you might even make it worse

But it can't be worser than the feeling that you had before

All that doom and gloom, all that Eisenhower/Churchill foolishness won't get you no more, no more

There's an atom bomb out there, you don't give a damn

You're not gonna crouch under your desk, I want you to understand

Nothing's gonna happen, the Lord above will probably protect you, it's sure he will

Because in this life you're meant to enjoy, you don't have to be cute

I got it right, I got it right, there's all day and there's no night (x2)

I lost, I lost those Eisenhower/Churchill lowdown blue

I've lost them and I'm glad, I've lost them, you know that I'm glad, Alleluia!

I Know who you are (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

Chorus: I know who you are, you know who I am, we don't know each other at all

You think I'm sexy and I think you're chic, we don't know each other at all.

I live in my house, you live in your house, through life we both stoically crawl

I know who you are, you know who I am, we don't know each other at all

Chorus

I live in my house, you live in your house, through life we both stoically crawl

I know who I am, you know who you are, we don't know each other at all

We don't know each other at all (x2)

This is not a Joke (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker)

I'm undressed and I'm not well, sitting at the bay-window making the smell

I'm ashamed of my condition, I need, I need a position

Someone to tell me I'm better, better than I really feel

Someone to say, "You're better, better than you really feel"

I need the Lord up above oh to heal

Heal my toes, heal my nose, heal my ears, both of them

Heal my nose, heal my toes, heal my ears, both of them

Make something new of me, make me into a superman

Yes, make something new of me, make me into a superman

With the wisdom of an Einstein, my father's glance

It's genetic, I'm frenetic, I can't understand myself at all

It's genetic and frenetic cause I can't understand myself at all

The family Bible stands by the bed, it lies by the bed

The family Bible lies by the bed

I've got my mother's old nightie under my head and recyclining

I don't know why I'm like I am

I could have been something, I...

The teacher at school said, "If you apply yourself, you could be a bank manager, even a zoo keeper, you know, alligators would respect you and those buzzards, I've seen them, they bow when you, when you pass by. There's an air of confidence about you that inspires loyalty"

I wonder if I'll achieve my goal

I wonder, yes I wonder - and I stutter - if I'll achieve my goal

God have mercy on my angst full soul

God have mercy on me. If you're up there, please relieve me of all tension, please send me someone to love.

This is not a joke (x7)